I have been to several weddings in the past few years primarily because I have reached that age when everyone is either getting married or having babies. I’m not kidding about the influx of weddings. In fact I attended a wedding two weeks ago and have two more this summer. I’m averaging three weddings a year and expecting this trend to continue for the next few years. So it’s safe to say I know a little something about weddings.
 
We have all heard about the “perfect wedding.” It’s wedding season and therefore the perfect wedding is the hot topic. From choosing the right bridesmaids to food allergy concerns, planning a wedding can be exhausting and adding the extra pressure of perfection isn’t ideal. We often hear brides saying their wedding day was the “best day of their lives” but not because it was perfect. A bride can drive herself crazy picking linens and floral arrangements, or agonize over the boutonnieres but at the end of the day only she will notice the minor imperfections. My suggestion is to shift focus to the key elements that serve as the statement pieces of any wedding.
 
1. Bridal Gown.
Yes both the bride and the groom will be standing in front of their loved ones, but no one I repeat no one will be asking what the groom is wearing. He gets quick glances from the guests and the occasional daze from those waiting to see if he will shed a tear but that’s it. From the moment the bride starts her journey down the aisle, everyone is focused on her. Bridal gown selection can be tricky. Try on different styles, fits, and even colors. I envisioned myself in a mermaid gown but was told repeatedly that I didn’t have the body for it. However, I went with my gut and tried it on and it was the perfect style for me. It created curves that I didn’t have and accentuated my natural frame.
 
2. Food Selection.
This is definitely a hot topic at any wedding but it is also where most of the money is spent. Food is expensive but making the wrong food choices can make or break the wedding experience for guests. A typical wedding is between 4-6 hours, and increases depending on the culture. On a normal day, we typically eat every 3-5 hours, and for some odd reason everyone is starving at weddings. I’m not saying break the budget for entrees but there has to be a realistic balance. No one wants guests to leave because they are hungry or have to grab something to eat on the way home because the food wasn’t appetizing. Of course everyone won’t be happy but the vast majority should be. Served plates are traditionally used at more formal weddings but I’ve seen this decline primarily because the larger the wedding the more this costs and there’s a greater chance the food will be cold. Not everyone is open to a buffet especially at a black tie affair so a great alternative is food stations. Even add an onsite chef preparing fresh entrees or protein. Guests aren’t just sitting around waiting for food or waiting in line for 30 minutes.
 
3. Music.
Choose DJs or live bands wisely. Music sets the mood, and just like food can absolutely make or break a wedding experience. Don’t just pick a band or DJ because a planner recommended them, test them out and see what they have to offer. Also, there is no set rule that there has to be either a DJ or a band. I had both. The band played for the ceremony and cocktail hour, and the DJ played during the reception. Two awesome vendors are East Coast Entertainment, who manage live entertainment in multiple cities and DJ Demp.
 
4. Photographer.
This element is a no brainer. Invest in the photographer even more so than the videographer. Honestly, I’ve watched my wedding video once but I’ve stared at my wedding photos over 100 times. I absolutely adore my photographer, Cendino Teme. Yes my photos are awesome but the experience is what I loved the most. No bride wants to be rushed or have to remind the photographer what he or she should be doing. That’s not what they get paid to do. My photographer definitely set the standard.
 
5. Time Management.
Spoiler Alert: Weddings never stay on schedule. They may start on time but somewhere along the way, groomsmen are on a wild goose chase for rouge groomsmen, bridesmaids are taking selfies in the bathroom, and guests refuse to let the newlyweds enjoy the food they paid for because they insist on taking pictures.  This is what weddings are about. No matter how much planning goes into the big day, time management is always an issue. I planned my entire wedding from start to finish but it was critical that I have a Day of Coordinator, and I Do Details was exactly what I needed. I didn’t worry at all. I told her my vision and she executed perfectly. It’s not realistic to think that a bride or a groom, or even a member of the bridal party can coordinate every aspect of the wedding on the big day. Choose someone that is organized and never late.
 
There’s truly no such thing as a perfect wedding. There will be bumps in the road and minor things that just aren’t right but overall every couple should feel like it was one of the best days of their lives. I know I do. Now can someone convince my husband to do it all over again!
 
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless!
 
Tenisha
 

The wedding day is the big event. The event that some women have been planning almost their entire lives. But before you get to the big day, there are a couple formalities that need to be taken care of: a bachelorette party and bridal shower. I’m a huge proponent for bachelorette festivities primarily because it gives brides the opportunity to just let loose and forget about the wedding drama.
 
Ideally, your best friend or other bridesmaids will plan this for you. It may be hard to let go but with the wedding and honeymoon plans on your plate, it’s nice to allow someone else to take over. My best friend/maid of honor planned my bachelorette party in one of my favorite places, Las Vegas. I had an amazing time but I learned some key tips on how to plan a successful bachelorette party that may be helpful for you.
 
Bachelorette Parties 101:
 
Choose your invite list wisely. As we progress in life and have new experiences, our friendship circle changes and we have friends that connect with you but may not connect with one another. You may be the only common thread and it will save you a headache by thinking about this in advance. There may be a bitter bridesmaid or bad blood between once upon a friends that could ruin your entire trip. You don’t want to spend your vacation choosing sides so make sure that you plan your list accordingly.

Pick a location that matches your personality. There are the signature bachelorette party places that most brides choose but don’t be so quick to choose a place based on popularity. If Vegas, New Orleans, or Miami aren’t your cup of tea, it’s ok. Don’t worry so much about what you should be doing and focus more on what works for you and fits your personality.
 
Do what makes you happy. If you’re like me, you love pleasing people especially in a party setting. I make it a point to insure that everyone is having a good time but this may not always be realistic. With a plethora of personalities, it’s impossible to please everyone. So go with what makes you happy! After all you are the bride.
 
Don’t get a divorce before you’re married. Ok this sounds strange but don’t allow the thrills of your last weekend of “freedom” cost you a lifetime of marriage. It’s perfectly normal to turn up and forget that you are about to make one of the biggest decisions in your life however you’re in dangerous territory if you completely lose your mind. Ask yourself, “is it worth it?”
 
Forget about the wedding and just have a good time. You have more than enough time to ponder about linens and cake tastings, so don’t spend your bachelorette weekend reviewing wedding formalities. If you have been organized throughout your planning process, one weekend away from making decisions won’t hurt. In order to insure that you don’t worry about the wedding, make sure you are sticking to your wedding timeline. Anything that needs to be done close to your bachelorette party dates, make sure you take care of it before your festivities begin so you can fully enjoy yourself.
 
Planning a wedding can be stressful, and the bachelorette festivities should be just what the doctor ordered. Most importantly, remember to relax and enjoy your time with your favorite girls!
 
Stay tuned for more on It’s Wedding Season…
 
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless
 
Tenisha
 

After cuffing season, it’s engagement season. Every time you log on to social media it seems as if someone new is engaged. You often catch yourself making the over generalized statement that “everyone is getting engaged” when in actuality it may only be a very small portion of your friends. Some people choose to announce their engagement immediately and others choose to wait to enjoy at least a few weeks of the engagement before being bombarded with questions about the big day.
 
This happens every year and in 2013 I hit the panic button after almost seven years of dating. I felt like I was being left behind as one friend after another was flashing their engagement rings on Instagram and Facebook. I willingly admit and so does my husband that waiting to get engaged was no longer an option. He knew that I was over the wait and had zero patience for unnecessary delays. Obviously it was the best decision that we ever made.
 
Although it seems like a challenge, getting engaged is the easy part. After you say “yes,” the post engagement Pandora’s box flies open. You and your now fiancé are overwhelmed with questions and “suggestions” that seem more like demands about your wedding day. Questions about the date, location, bridal party, colors, and even the guest list come from every direction. Even if you haven’t started planning, you immediately feel the pressure of keeping the world abreast on wedding updates.
 
How to Survive Post-Engagement
 
I was engaged for a little over a year and during that time, I only had one stressful time period (within the final month) and honestly as I look back on it I wish I would have put the outside noise on mute. Enjoying your engagement and preparing for your marriage, not your wedding, is the most important part of being engaged. There are no sure fire ways to avoid the stress but here are my top five tricks to beat the headaches:
 
1. Remind yourself daily that it’s not about anyone else except you and your fiancé. It seems that this would be a no brainer but ironically it is the most difficult step. We have all heard the saying it’s about the bride well too often this is forgotten by those you love the most. From family members to best friends, and even those who are only receiving an invitation because your mom is making you, everyone has an opinion about what you should be doing. When you feel it spinning out of control, look in the mirror and reassure yourself that as long as you and your fiancé are happy then nothing else matters.
 
2. Don’t be afraid to use the mute button. Sometimes you have to use the mute button. Everyone has an opinion but sometimes that opinion is just too loud. There’s nothing wrong with seeking advice about different aspects of the wedding planning but too often people take that and run with it. Your special day becomes the remake of the day they never had. When someone’s opinions are too much, you may have to limit your conversations or avoid conversations about the wedding all together. Don’t feel bad for avoiding the stress.
 
3. Put your marriage first and the wedding second. With all of the excitement swirling around one of the most important events in your life, you can easily get distracted by the details and forget about preparing for the actual marriage. Prior to getting engaged I didn’t think that pre-marital counseling was important but instantly after he put a ring on it, I was pressed to seek counseling to prepare for one of the most challenging experiences in my life. My husband had a more leisure approach but once we started he knew that it was absolutely necessary. We took a more spiritual course which may not be for everyone but we knew that we wanted God to be the leader of household so we had no qualms about traveling the spiritual path. It was the best pre-marital decision that we made. Even after seven years there were still things that we needed to work out prior to walking down the aisle. Marriage is tough and just like with any challenge you want to be as prepared as possible before jumping into it.
 
4. Don’t let anyone steal your joy. Just like with anything in life, you will have those that are genuinely happy for you and those who make it a point to find the negative in any situation. Unfortunately, once you get engaged you will find out who are your real friends. It’s sad but it is the truth. Those you believed would always be by your side and be your biggest supporters gradually turn into someone you wouldn’t dare associate with. From frivolous arguments that stem from jealousy to drama about who you love more, you can be overwhelmed by the negative. This is not your fault and nor is it your issue. Don’t allow the misery of others to steal your moment. This is an exciting time for you and anyone who is willing to take that away from you is not your real friend.
 
5. Don’t rush through it, just enjoy it! Whether you’re engaged for six months or two years, it may seem like it an eternity to finally get to the wedding day. I have seen some brides dread every second of the wedding planning and therefore hated every second of their engagement. They spent so much time stressing over table linens and bridesmaids dresses that they forgot to enjoy the moment with their soon to be husband. Trust me the time goes by quickly and the last thing you want is to wish you spent more time celebrating instead of worrying. FYI it’s not worth the stress. No matter how much you plan, everything will not be perfect and it won’t matter on your wedding day. You may see a crease in the table linens or an imperfection in your wedding cake but at the end of the day as long as you walk down the aisle to marry the love of your life everything else seems less important.
 
I know it seems a bit cliché but my wedding day was one of the best days of my life. I enjoyed every second of it and if I could convince my husband to do it all over again I would. However, I’m more appreciative of the time we spent learning more about one another and enjoying the last year of our single lives than anything else.
 
Stay tuned for my next Wedding Season post…
 
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless
 
Tenisha

After completing my IVF transfer, I was prepared for whatever the result would be. After waiting 12 days it was time for my first set of blood work. In my heart I felt like the test would be positive but I waited patiently for the call. Shortly after 1pm my phone begin to ring and I rushed to answer. It was my doctor but she had a very somber voice. I prepared myself for the worst but despite her tone, she quickly said you're pregnant. I immediately broke down in tears because my dream had come true. I didn't know if I was pregnant with twins or just one. I wanted twins so badly because I didn't want to go through IVF again but honestly I was just happy that I was pregnant.

I had two more sets of blood work that confirmed my pregnancy. It worked! Having faith kept me strong throughout the process. At 6 weeks it was time for my first ultrasound where I would learn whether it was one baby or two, and we would be able to hear the heartbeats. As I sat on the table patiently waiting I prayed under my breath for good news. My doctor came in along with two nurses as we chanted team twins. She began the ultrasound and it was only one. Admittedly I was heartbroken because that meant that one of my embryos didn't survive. However I focused on the positive, we were having a baby. My due date was set for May 24th and we immediately notified our parents.

Every week leading up to week 10, I was scheduled for an ultrasound and blood work. Each exam ended with a positive result. The baby was strong and healthy. It was time for me to leave my fertility facility and transfer back to my regular OB. The entire fertility team was saddened by my departure but excited that I was pregnant. It was bittersweet. I had spent months with them and they helped me become a MTB. I was grateful for their support and love throughout my process.

My first appointment with my OB was full of joy and praise. She was so happy for me. We begin to plan out my pregnancy appointments and she gave me a list of things to do. I was happy and finally accepting the fact that I was about to be a mother. With each check up I anticipated seeing the baby and hearing the heartbeat. My first trimester was smooth sailing. I only suffered from mild nausea and a few weeks of exhaustion. My weight gain was minimal and I felt good.

It's a Girl!

At our 16 week appointment we couldn't wait to find out the gender. We scheduled a 3D/4D ultrasound and we spent 30 minutes watching our baby dance around my womb. It was a girl! She was very active and waved at us. It was real! We were having a baby girl. We had already decided on a name, Mackenzie Grace Brown. I just knew that she would be just like her mommy.


Mackenzie Grace - Our Angel
On December 16th I begin to feel sharp pains in my abdomen. I couldn't figure out what it was and after 2 hours of suffering I called for my husband to take me to the hospital. I could barely make it down the stairs due to the pain. We finally made it to the car and right before I got in, my water broke. I couldn't control my emotions. I wanted to fall to the floor but my husband caught me. He carried me in the house and he immediately called 911. The ambulance arrived but I knew it was already too late.

At 17 weeks, the likelihood of baby Mackenzie surviving was virtually impossible. There was no rush to the hospital, the ride was slow and even after we arrived at the ER there was no mad dash to save her. I lost all of my amniotic fluid and although she still had a heartbeat, we all knew it was the end. Due to her size I had to deliver her which took almost 24 hours of labor. Mackenzie Grace was born at 9:36pm on December 17, 2015. She was a beautiful baby girl and she looked just like her daddy. Just before midnight we said our last goodbyes to our baby girl. Losing her is the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.

Thoughts of doubt and fear rushed through my mind as I held her in my arms. How could God bless me with this beautiful little girl and then take her away from me? What could I have done to prevent this? I felt my faith slipping. I couldn't process what was going on and the more I thought about it, the more tears begin to flow. I felt her spirit and I have faith that she's our little angel.

As I begin to grieve, I was compelled to write. I had intentions of posting a blog on the morning I lost Mackenzie Grace announcing her pending arrival but God had other plans. I don't know why this happened but I do know that the only way I can get through this is through prayer. I'm truly thankful for my husband and all of the support from my family and friends. Although we lost Mackenzie Grace, we are not giving up on becoming parents. We will always love our baby girl!

In loving memory of Mackenzie Grace Brown!


Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless!

Tenisha

After starting IVF I realized quickly that this would not be an easy feat. My body began to quickly go through changes that, although I was warned, I was not prepared for. I knew I had to get through two steps: retrieval and transfer. The plan was to do a frozen transfer because with training camp swiftly approaching I didn't want my husband to miss any aspect of the process.

The Retrieval
After my first injection I thought that it would get easier unfortunately it didn't. As you approach retrieval the injections increase and so does the pill dosage. Getting to a successful retrieval had 2 requirements, my ovaries had to double in size and I had to stimulate the growth of as many eggs as possible in a very short period of time. For 2 weeks I had AM and PM injections, ultrasounds every other day, and blood work every other day. With each ultrasound and blood work scan, my dosage was modified to avoid a serious condition called Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) which causes enlarged ovaries and fluid build up in abdominal cavity.

For most women this is a scary process because despite stimulation your body's natural triggers determine how many eggs reach maturity. Some women go through the process several times and the retrieval is unsuccessful. I was truly blessed because on my first attempt I had several follicles and over a dozen eggs that were fertilized. Although we opted for a frozen transfer, we had to prepare for a fresh transfer depending on the survival rate of the fertilized eggs. There is a 3-5 day period in which the fertilized eggs grow. I received daily updates on my Petri dish babies. Each day I patiently waited for the call from the embryologist. On day 5, as I celebrated my grandmother's 79th birthday, I received the best call that you could ask for, I had "5 beautiful embryos." My husband and I immediately thanked God for our blessing because we knew we were one step closer to becoming parents.

The Transfer
Unlike most IVF frozen transfers, we scheduled our transfer beyond the normal waiting period. As my transfer date approached several questions went through my mind. Was I ready? Would I be a good mother? If it didn't work, would I be willing to go through the process again? As I waited, I went back and forth about whether I would change my date. Then I realized that you're never really ready for motherhood. There's nothing that can prepare you for such a life changing event. So I prayed and asked God for comfort and peace because I refused to allow fear to conquer me.

Getting to the transfer date equals a medical stimulation of pregnancy. The injections essentially trick your body into believing you're going through the normal process of getting pregnant. So your hormones are going crazy and you have absolutely no control.

On the day of my transfer I woke up and the first thing I said to my husband was "I'm getting pregnant today!" I believed with all my heart that my first attempt would be my last attempt. Before we walked into the facility we sat in the car and prayed. We prayed over our little embryos and over my body. We went inside and prepped for the transfer. My doctor's entire staff came down to give us their well wishes and crazy suggestions about how both embryos should split and result in quads. They were joking of course but I knew it was a possibility. The team rolled me into the operating room with my husband by my side. As he held my hand the transfer was made! We knew that the only thing we could do now was have faith that it was successful.

To be continued...


Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless

Tenisha

Throughout this process my biggest supporter has been my husband. He has motivated me, encouraged me, prayed with me, and most importantly loved me unconditionally. I decided to interview him about how he has felt going through this process and of course he obliged. 
 
Have you always known you wanted to have children? If so, why?
Yeah. Because I enjoy children and I wanted my own. Most importantly to give my parents grandchildren.
 
Did you know how I felt about children and did this affect your decision to marry me?
I knew how you felt but it didn’t affect my decision. I knew it would take some time of me rubbing off on you and expressing my wants.
 
How did you feel when you found out that I had to have surgery?
I was in shock. I really didn’t understand why you needed to have surgery and what kind of surgery. But I was also sad because I didn’t want it to be a hard or strenuous experience for you.
 
How did you feel when you found out that we couldn’t get pregnant naturally?
I was taken aback. Not really knowing what to feel at the time but I knew that if there was a will there was a way. Also, that the number one thing was having faith and that God will give you the desires of your heart.
 
Do you feel cheated?
I don’t feel cheated at all. I feel everything happens for a reason and I just trust the process. The process is knowing that I’m not in control, and that things that have happened are out of our control.
 
How has our relationship changed through this process?
I definitely think that we have grown more together as one than before. Mainly in our faith. I guess with me being a better husband and supporter by always making sure you are taken care of and not letting you be so independent.

How have you remained positive through this process?
I remained positive because I prayed about everything and I spoke things into existence because the more that you say things the more you believe it. That’s what is in your heart so on the day s that you may struggle you pray about it and that’s what keeps you moving forward.
 
How did you feel about me blogging about such a sensitive subject?
I think it goes back to how this whole process has changed us and how we have grown. When you asked me about it I instantly moved my personal feelings out of the way and was 100% supportive of you and of what you wanted to do.
 
How do you feel about me?
I very proud of you and how well you have handled the process, and you know at the same time very thankful that you are going through the process because I know that everybody wouldn’t do it. I know that it is definitely harder on you and your body, harder than anything that I go through or deal with.
 
What is the most important aspect in our relationship?
Keeping God first and growing together spiritually by reading together, praying together or going to church. So that you can feel like you are not going through anything alone.
 
What is your role in this Journey to Motherhood besides the obvious?
To put my feelings aside and make sure I’m very supportive of you. To make sure I try to understand what you’re going through physically and emotionally so I can be a great support system for you.
 
How does it feel knowing that you are one step closer to becoming a father?
It is a great feeling knowing that you are one step closer to your reward which is entering parenthood and bringing a child into this world. It makes me feel proud and that prayers are being answered.
 
During this process what has been your biggest fear?
The biggest fear was the process itself because it was something I had never even thought about but in my nature and from playing football, you face obstacles you have to drop your shoulder and attack it.
 
If you had to give advice to other couples going through fertility issues what would you say?
First and foremost have faith because it is not a traditional process and they have to be strong together as one more than ever. They have to be supportive of each other and be flexible to change if it’s something that you really want.

I could not have asked for a better partner to go through this process with me. I may not know where my journey will end but I do know that I'm Blessed!!!

To be continued...

Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless

Tenisha
 

Immediately following my surgery I had to make a choice about my next step in my journey. I couldn’t dwell on what I had lost. I had to remind myself that it was only a small part of me and that I was blessed to have options when so many others did not. There was no pressure to move forward however I didn’t want to delay with the onset of football season. Yes it sounds crazy to some but we have to base our lives around football. From our wedding to opening businesses, football season is usually off limits. With any option my husband would have to be in town in order for it to work.

I knew that after my surgery natural conception was not a viable option, and I didn’t want to spend years testing the percentages. We went in for my checkup and discussed our alternatives. My doctor explained the process of intrauterine (artificial) insemination and in-vitro fertilization (IVF). I must admit prior to starting my journey to motherhood, I never bothered to learn the difference between insemination and IVF, or the costs associated with the procedures. I assumed they were procedures that would never be a part of my life. Like most women, I never thought I would need help at such a young age conceiving. I always believed that as long as I started before I hit 35, I would have no problems. Unfortunately, I was wrong.  

Intrauterine (artificial) insemination is less invasive and less expensive than IVF. “In this procedure, sperm are inserted directly into a woman's cervix, fallopian tubes, or uterus. This makes the trip shorter for the sperm and bypasses any possible obstructions.” (WebMD.com) It had a more natural aspect to the process but for me a lower percentage of effectiveness. IVF is more invasive and requires more resources including countless injections and pills. “IVF involves combining eggs and sperm outside the body in a laboratory. Once an embryo or embryos form, they are then placed in the uterus. IVF is a complex and expensive procedure; only about 5% of couples with infertility seek it out.” (WebMD.com)

Making the Right Choice for Our Family

As my doctor explained the processes of both routes, I knew in my mind that I wanted to take the road less traveled. I honestly didn’t give insemination a second thought after we began to discuss IVF. The percentage of effectiveness was high and I could choose how many embryos I wanted to transfer. I wasn’t sure how many times I was willing to take my body through the process. There was no guarantee that it would work however I felt God speak to me. I had no reservations even though I only had the slightest idea of how taxing IVF is on the body. 

Prior to officially making the decision we had to speak with the financial department at the fertility facility. She was a very busy woman and I think has the toughest job in the building. She began to explain the costs associated with both procedures and how most insurance companies do not cover any aspect of fertility treatments. It is still viewed as an elective procedure and most couples have to cover the expenses out of pocket. This was shocking after she told us how much the average IVF procedure would cost versus insemination. The average cost of insemination is $1,000 and the average cost of IVF is $13,000, the cost of a small car. All of which have to be paid up front. At that moment I felt so blessed to have options, but I also felt a sense of compassion for those who did not. I saw so many couples in tears in her office because they could not afford to pay for the medications or the injections preventing them from becoming parents. I prayed and thanked God for blessing my husband and I with this opportunity.

Even though the process would be far more difficult, I chose my path and my path was IVF. 

“…But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

To Be Continued…

Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless

Tenisha

Finding out I had to have surgery definitely was a shocker. I had been under the knife before but ACL reconstruction is far from reproductive issues. I knew that if anything I had to be brave. I didn't want to make excuses or use anything as a crutch for not doing all I could to fix what was wrong.

I decided that if surgery was a necessity then I was going to follow through. I scheduled my surgery and prepared for the best. I could've dwelled on the “what could potentially happen or what could go wrong” but I chose not to "concern myself with matters greater than me."

Expecting the Best Instead of the Worst

Immediately after I made the decision to have surgery, I began to prepare for the big day. It would require me to alter my lifestyle for a while but I was fine with that because I had faith that in the end it would be worth it. During my pre-op appointment my doctor explained my options once again. The plan was to clamp off my fallopian tube but the worst case scenario would be complete removal. Although I knew removal was a possibility, I never thought it would actually happen. 

The night before my surgery I called my mom in the middle of the night. I knew I had to be there early but I couldn't sleep. For the first time I was anxious and nervous about what was really happening and it didn't help that it was my first surgery without my mom. It wasn’t a feeling of worry but more so a feeling of uncertainty. She prayed with me and reassured me that everything would be ok. A few hours later I reported to the hospital ready for whatever may happen. 

As I sat in the room alone, after saying my name, date of birth and the nature of my surgery at least 10 times, I began to pray. I prayed for God to cover me through my surgery and to heal me. My husband entered the room, we prayed once again knowing that this was not the end of our journey but only the beginning. After finishing our prayer we heard a knock on the door, it was my nurse. It was time!

The surgery went well but I quickly learned that the worst case scenario happened. My fallopian tube had to be removed. As I heard those words, my heart sunk but I wasn’t sure why. I knew this was a possibility so why was I so emotional about it actually happening. A part of me wanted to breakdown and cry but I remembered how blessed I am. Although I had lost a small part of me, I hadn’t lost the fight in me.  I was tremendously blessed to be alive and healthy. It wasn’t the end, only a minor setback and I was determined to not let this conquer me. I was focused on recovery and moving on to the next step on my journey to motherhood.

"I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalms 18:1-2

To Be Continued…

Forever Fierce Fabulous & Flawless

Tenisha