Getting Back in the Game
My plan to focus on getting back to my normal self was working. It took some time to get adjusted and to stop wondering when I will be a mom again but after a few months getting pregnant was not on my priority list. From January to August, I consistently worked out, changed my diet, and loved up on my husband. My heart was full. I spoke with my husband and we decided that it was time to get back in the game. I wanted to wait until after my birthday to start the IVF process again. We went in for our appointment, signed our paperwork and I immediately started my meds.
After starting my meds, my body didn’t feel right. I didn’t know what was wrong and my level of concern was heightened. After suffering for two weeks, I called my doctor and insisted on a change in my meds. My sickness reached a high and I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to take a pregnancy test to prove that I wasn’t pregnant and that it was in fact the medications that were making me sick. I took the pregnancy test and it was positive. I didn’t get too excited because some of my medications can give a false positive and I had been told that getting pregnant naturally was nearly impossible. The next day I took another test and it was positive. I immediately went in for blood work and I was in fact pregnant. An ultrasound confirmed it was one baby and I realized that despite what I had been told, God had in fact blessed me with a baby conceived naturally. I had no idea I was pregnant but the best part was that my baby was due five days after my MacKenzie Grace. My husband and I were so excited and our parents were elated.
My entire medical team was on high alert because of what happened during my first pregnancy. We were blessed to see our baby several times throughout the pregnancy because we were all determined to keep Baby Brown in the womb until I was full term. Even after one emergency room visit when I was 13 weeks, we didn’t lose our faith in the process. We planned to do a baby reveal on New Year’s Eve and a gender reveal when the clock hit midnight. Unfortunately, this was not God’s plan. On December 30th I started to feel abdominal pain. I was determined to be positive but I wanted to make sure everything was ok. I went to the emergency room and the pain intensified. At 18 weeks I was in active labor and I couldn’t believe that this was happening again. We prayed and prayed for a miracle, and it seemed that it worked. However, things took a turn for the worst, I was forced to choose between my life and trying to save my baby. I didn’t want to give up but God made the decision for me. Before I could finish arguing with the doctor, my water broke and I was forced to deliver my daughter Madison Grace Brown on December 31, 2017.
Power of Love
I’m not sure why this happened again but over the past three years I have learned that God’s plan is greater than my plan. I didn’t understand why God would bless me with another baby girl and then take her away from us but I knew that we could get through this. As I labored, my husband never let go of my hand. Every night I spent in the hospital battling, he slept uncomfortably on the sofa in the maternity suite. He checked every medication and wiped every tear. Losing a child is extremely hard on a marriage and losing two children is even harder. My husband has been everything to me. His commitment to my health and his unconditional love remind me of how truly blessed I am. His love for me is pure and I'm so blessed to be his wife! We have not given up on our journey to become parents. This is just another test for our testimony.
To be continued…
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless