After my second transfer failed I felt like I had to shift my focus from living for IVF to IVF being a small part of my life. Once again being the healthiest version of myself was my top priority. So I worked out and added things to my schedule that gave me joy.
My doctor finally gave me the go-ahead to start preparing for my third round. We set the schedule and I immediately started my medications. Unlike my second transfer, I stayed on track with my injections and I was meticulous with my pills. Unfortunately, it didn't matter. I went in for my routine trial transfer and I was stopped in my tracks. As my doctor’s voice shifted from hopeful to doubtful, I worried about what she saw that I couldn't see. She told me to get dressed and she’ll return to discuss my options. As I sat in the room, I thought “what else could be wrong?” She walked back in the room after I said all clear. She told me that I had to have surgery. I literally couldn't believe this was happening again. I was just preparing to have a transfer not surgery however it was a must otherwise my transfer would be in vain. So I scheduled the surgery and mentally prepared myself for yet another setback.
My doctor finally gave me the go-ahead to start preparing for my third round. We set the schedule and I immediately started my medications. Unlike my second transfer, I stayed on track with my injections and I was meticulous with my pills. Unfortunately, it didn't matter. I went in for my routine trial transfer and I was stopped in my tracks. As my doctor’s voice shifted from hopeful to doubtful, I worried about what she saw that I couldn't see. She told me to get dressed and she’ll return to discuss my options. As I sat in the room, I thought “what else could be wrong?” She walked back in the room after I said all clear. She told me that I had to have surgery. I literally couldn't believe this was happening again. I was just preparing to have a transfer not surgery however it was a must otherwise my transfer would be in vain. So I scheduled the surgery and mentally prepared myself for yet another setback.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to HIs purpose."
Romans 8:28, NIV
On the day of the surgery I declared that it would be my last and that it would be the final delay before I was a mother again. Alas, I was wrong. During my surgery, my doctor found more than she bargained for. The loss of my angel was still with me and my uterus was compromised. She did all she could but she knew that I had to have another surgery to fix it. I scheduled my third surgery and again I proclaimed that it would be my last. The surgery was a success and my doctor was elated by my progress in just a little over a month. She was eager to start the process again and to my surprise she set a transfer date and schedule. I repeatedly asked was the date correct and she reassured me that she was comfortable with me starting the process. I started my meds once again with hopes to getting to that third transfer. However that was not God’s plan. My body stopped responding to the meds and I had to stop the cycle for the second time.
My heart was heavy and I leaned heavily on God. This entire process has been the hardest thing I have ever been through and the only thing that keeps me focused is my faith in God’s promise. I realize that my journey is purpose driven and it is not just for me. One day I will hold my babies in my arms and shout my testimony about how awesome God is but until then I will remain positive and faithful!
To be continued…
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless
Tenisha
My heart was heavy and I leaned heavily on God. This entire process has been the hardest thing I have ever been through and the only thing that keeps me focused is my faith in God’s promise. I realize that my journey is purpose driven and it is not just for me. One day I will hold my babies in my arms and shout my testimony about how awesome God is but until then I will remain positive and faithful!
To be continued…
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless
Tenisha
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