Now this made my husband nervous, not because of the adults clearly they are like family but because of the baby. He didn't worry about the baby staying up all night or poopy diapers. No, he was concerned about my emotional well-being. This was the first time since losing our daughter that I was going to be around a baby for a long period of time. Typically, I would find a distraction or just keep it moving but this time that wasn't an option. He watched me intensely as I held the baby to make sure that I wouldn't just fall apart. Admittedly, I was nervous myself but I decided to wholeheartedly trust God.
One night turned into a few days but they were possibly the most important days of my journey to motherhood. As I held baby Jayce before they were about to head home, I watched him peacefully sleep in my arms while his mom rested. I wasn't envious or heartbroken that I didn't have my MacKenzie Grace. I felt God’s hands on me. His angels surrounded us as we sat on my back patio discussing marriage, friendships, business and just how good God truly is.
That moment gave me life. There I was holding a baby and all I felt was genuine joy for her as a mother and faith that my time will come. My time of mourning was over and by God’s grace I was healed.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 NIV
To be continued…
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless