Key reasons that pushed me to marriage:
1. Need for Progress. After almost 7 years of dating, I woke up one day and realized something had to change. Yes we were happy, yes we were both still growing individually but our growth as a couple came to a screeching halt. We had reached our capacity as boyfriend and girlfriend, and that maturation was taking a toll on our relationship.
As individuals we set boundaries on our relationship because we wanted something to look forward to as husband and wife. One of the biggest boundaries was not living together while we dated. I refused to act like a wife when I was only a girlfriend! If he wanted me to act like his wife then he better put a ring on it. As women we too often accept what a man is willing to give us instead of what we deserve. I knew I deserved more.
It was either get engaged or break up. I put a timeline on our engagement because my growth was being stifled due to uncertainty in our relationship. Where would I live and work after graduation? I certainly would not make those decisions just as a girlfriend. I couldn't plan my life around him if he wasn't willing to plan his life around me, and that's why I got married!
2. Altering Familial Behavior. When I met my husband I marveled over the idea that his parents were married. See they weren't just married, they were in love. I reveled over how his father treated his mother. How he cared for her, how he looked at her, and how he catered to her. He genuinely loves her and that was something I had never seen. My mother and father were never married. They dated for years before finally calling it quits. I didn't want that.
Marriages in my family were few and far between. When they did happen it was based on some mysterious circumstance that led to the big day. The concept and principles of marriage seem to fade away after my grandparents' generation. I wanted to show my family that marriage is a good thing, and that's why I got married.
3. Love. What is love? "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge it will pass away." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
I love my husband! I mean I love my husband! This man is truly a blessing and honestly to think that we have been through so much in our relationship and still love one another is amazing. How did I know I loved him? I knew I loved him because I prayed for him even when I was angry. Even on our worst days, I prayed for his well being and for his successes. I prayed for his growth, his protection, and his blessings not for my sake but for his own. I'm in love and that's why I got married!
4. Children. I am an only child so the concept of having children was not as appealing to me. I was comfortable living a leisurely life with little responsibility to care for others. All I needed was my dog and I would be perfectly fine. As my relationship progressed, I realized that my husband wanted children, and if I continued to date him or marry him I had to be honest with myself about my feelings towards children. I didn't know when I wanted to have children but I did know that I didn't want to have children out of wedlock. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging those that have had children out of wedlock but it wasn't an option in my life. I did not want to be a baby mama. Unfortunately, I witnessed so many women have children with men that they loved, that promised them that they would get married eventually, and that they would never leave them but in the end they are no longer with the father of their children. My sentiments: if I was good enough to be the mother of your children, then I was good enough to be your wife. I grew up in a single parent household and I didn't want the same for my children. So if I was going to bring children into this world it was going to be with my husband, and that's why I got married!
5. God's Purpose. "Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:22-24.
When I first met my husband, I felt something different. I prayed for him and I had never done that before. I prayed about us and God spoke to me. I knew that he was the man for me because God told me so.
I am a woman of God and on a daily basis I ask God to help me grow in his image. A part of this growth included having a Godly relationship. The year we got engaged, I realized I wanted to be a wife. I wanted to love and honor my husband. I knew that by giving our relationship to God, we would be living in His divine purpose, and that's why I got married!
This year I will celebrate 9 years with my husband. We have been married for a year but it feels like just yesterday we exchanged our vows. Too often society portrays marriage in a negative image especially marriages involving professional athletes but I see both sides. I love being married, I love being a wife, and I love having someone that is my partner in everything! Marriage is a blessing and contrary to popular belief it is a good thing.
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless!