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My Journey to Motherhood: Power of Love

1/5/2018

10 Comments

 
​After two years of loss, surgeries and failed transfers I decided that my mind and body was tapped out. I needed a break from the shots, ovulation calendars and anticipation of whether or not a transfer would work. I had been very aggressive in my attempts to get pregnant and as a result my body had suffered. My labs were perfect but my emotional and physical state were not aligned. I decided to focus on getting healthy, strengthening my marriage and living my best life. 

Getting Back in the Game
My plan to focus on getting back to my normal self was working. It took some time to get adjusted and to stop wondering when I will be a mom again but after a few months getting pregnant was not on my priority list. From January to August, I consistently worked out, changed my diet, and loved up on my husband. My heart was full. I spoke with my husband and we decided that it was time to get back in the game. I wanted to wait until after my birthday to start the IVF process again. We went in for our appointment, signed our paperwork and I immediately started my meds. 

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God’s Blessing
After starting my meds, my body didn’t feel right. I didn’t know what was wrong and my level of concern was heightened. After suffering for two weeks, I called my doctor and insisted on a change in my meds. My sickness reached a high and I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to take a pregnancy test to prove that I wasn’t pregnant and that it was in fact the medications that were making me sick. I took the pregnancy test and it was positive. I didn’t get too excited because some of my medications can give a false positive and I had been told that getting pregnant naturally was nearly impossible. The next day I took another test and it was positive. I immediately went in for blood work and I was in fact pregnant. An ultrasound confirmed it was one baby and I realized that despite what I had been told, God had in fact blessed me with a baby conceived naturally. I had no idea I was pregnant but the best part was that my baby was due five days after my MacKenzie Grace. My husband and I were so excited and our parents were elated. 
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​Faith Over Fear
My entire medical team was on high alert because of what happened during my first pregnancy. We were blessed to see our baby several times throughout the pregnancy because we were all determined to keep Baby Brown in the womb until I was full term. Even after one emergency room visit when I was 13 weeks, we didn’t lose our faith in the process. We planned to do a baby reveal on New Year’s Eve and a gender reveal when the clock hit midnight. Unfortunately, this was not God’s plan. On December 30th I started to feel abdominal pain. I was determined to be positive but I wanted to make sure everything was ok. I went to the emergency room and the pain intensified. At 18 weeks I was in active labor and I couldn’t believe that this was happening again. We prayed and prayed for a miracle, and it seemed that it worked. However, things took a turn for the worst, I was forced to choose between my life and trying to save my baby. I didn’t want to give up but God made the decision for me. Before I could finish arguing with the doctor, my water broke and I was forced to deliver my daughter Madison Grace Brown on December 31, 2017.
 
Power of Love
I’m not sure why this happened again but over the past three years I have learned that God’s plan is greater than my plan. I didn’t understand why God would bless me with another baby girl and then take her away from us but I knew that we could get through this. As I labored, my husband never let go of my hand. Every night I spent in the hospital battling, he slept uncomfortably on the sofa in the maternity suite. He checked every medication and wiped every tear. Losing a child is extremely hard on a marriage and losing two children is even harder. My husband has been everything to me. His commitment to my health and his unconditional love remind me of how truly blessed I am. His love for me is pure and I'm so blessed to be his wife! We have not given up on our journey to become parents. This is just another test for our testimony.
 
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​“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4
 
To be continued…
 
Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless
 
Tenisha
10 Comments
Alexandria Wilson
1/5/2018 11:38:50 am

Thank you for sharing 💖 keep blogging. We are all walking down gods path and although we may not always know why or when, there is a purpose to the path he guides is down. Keep y'alls head held high 💖 and thank god you have each other

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Tara Nesbit
1/5/2018 12:23:46 pm

This was beautifully written. I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I knew what to say to take your pain away but the words just don’t exist. I am here for you if you want to talk. 💞

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Anjelica Carpenter
1/5/2018 01:26:58 pm

Oh my goodness, thank you for sharing. God Bless you. I Pray that you recieve all desires of your heart according to His will!

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Selina H.
1/5/2018 04:07:11 pm

My LS is a testimony herself! You are living proof that God works in ways we can’t imagine. And that his plan does not have to be revealed to us. That’s our selfish human nature. Our God is almighty and faith is all we need. I love you and know that God has a plan for you and E.

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Myriam C
1/5/2018 05:02:10 pm

You are the epitome of strength and resilience. The covenant for those going through this similar situation. You are so brave and courageous for sharing your story. Blessings to you and Everette.

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Angela W
1/6/2018 06:36:53 am

By sharing your story you have been a blessing to many. Your strength and perseverance shines as an example of how to live after such a painful and heart wrenching loss. For this I thank you. 😍🤗

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Christina Haywood
1/6/2018 09:13:04 am

Thank you for sharing your story and being an example of strength & faith! I pray for healing, joy, love, and continued faith in your life!

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Toni Bailey
1/6/2018 10:43:12 am

Tenisha and Everette. Our prayers and thought have been with you guys!! God bless you real good. You guys are amazing. The love you have for each other and for God will get you through this.

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Mercedes Cotchery
1/7/2018 06:19:45 am

God bless you two! Thank you for sharing your Strength! I am on the edge of my seat watching our God continue to work in and through you.

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Buffi Williams
2/11/2018 11:05:43 am

His faithfulness never fails... I’m so glad your reliance is in His promises, and not our human ability. God is the same, His Word never comes back void. In Genesis He told us (humans) to be fruitful and multiply, I have two promises (sons)and have believed with many women struggling with infertility, the count of promises manifested is approximately 14 miracle babies... He told us to be fruitful and multiply.. remember the family is Gods idea, we just stand and receive.. take care and rest in His Promises ❤️
. Much💜... Miracle Mom 2 Miracle Mom

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    Tenisha Patterson Brown, Esq. - Attorney, Business Manager for Professional Athletes, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Seminole & Mother to 3 Rambunctious Dogs 

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