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My Journey to Motherhood: My Soul is Healed

11/7/2016

2 Comments

 
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My grandmother always says never underestimate the power of God. She also says God works in mysterious ways and she is absolutely right! A couple of months ago our dear friends came to Charlotte to attend a preseason game, and we planned to see each other briefly before they left to go back home. They had a long drive ahead of them so they didn't plan to stay too long. They stopped by our house and a couple of hours quickly became six and it was getting well into the night. Then the skies opened and the rain poured down. Coincidence? I think not.  It didn't make sense for them to leave especially with a three week old baby. So they decided to stay overnight and leave that next morning.

Now this made my husband nervous, not because of the adults clearly they are like family but because of the baby. He didn't worry about the baby staying up all night or poopy diapers. No, he was concerned about my emotional well-being. This was the first time since losing our daughter that I was going to be around a baby for a long period of time. Typically, I would find a distraction or just keep it moving but this time that wasn't an option. He watched me intensely as I held the baby to make sure that I wouldn't just fall apart. Admittedly, I was nervous myself but I decided to wholeheartedly trust God.

One night turned into a few days but they were possibly the most important days of my journey to motherhood. As I held baby Jayce before they were about to head home, I watched him peacefully sleep in my arms while his mom rested. I wasn't envious or heartbroken that I didn't have my MacKenzie Grace. I felt God’s hands on me. His angels surrounded us as we sat on my back patio discussing marriage, friendships, business and just how good God truly is.

That moment gave me life. There I was holding a baby and all I felt was genuine joy for her as a mother and faith that my time will come. My time of mourning was over and by God’s grace I was healed.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 NIV

To be continued…

​Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless

Tenisha
2 Comments
Jurena Jackson
2/17/2017 08:09:27 am

I love you and the courage you have that you can post this. I am so grateful and happy for you that you have found peace. I cannot imagine what that loss feels like, but you have my heart and prayers with you. I know there will be those who read this and it helps to give them hope. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.

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LeShonda Martin link
2/17/2017 07:55:21 pm

😩 Tears! This is beautiful and thank you for sharing. God surely does work in mysterious ways and that weekend gave us life too! You and EB are genuinely some of the best souls on this planet! The Lord has SO MUCH in store for you two! And Jayce loves his Auntie T and Uncle E. We love you guys!

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    Tenisha Patterson Brown, Esq. - Attorney, Business Manager for Professional Athletes, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Seminole & Mother to 3 Rambunctious Dogs 

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