As women today, we are far from the Leave It To Beaver mentality which required wives and mothers to stay at home while your husband was the sole breadwinner. We are in a time where women have created over 10 million businesses and serve as high profile executives of some of the largest companies in the world according to Forbes.com. Although our presence in business has increased our roles in our homes remain the same, and maintaining that delicate balance is a true work of art.

Like most working women, my life is a constant balancing act. Between running three companies, and my personal life, I often find myself spending more time trying to fit it in my schedule instead of actually enjoying the fruits of my labor. As women working hard is in our DNA and when you're a type A personality sometimes that means seeking perfection in everything you do. Well the pursuit of perfection comes at a cost...exhaustion!

My husband and I are entrepreneurs, therefore I don't have the option to just forget about it or leave it until tomorrow. When all else fails it falls on us but primarily me because I take 99% of running the businesses due to his other career.

Although I'm a businesswoman, I make a point to be a wife first. Insuring that my husband is taken care of is a high priority. Contrary to popular belief, you can be a serious businesswoman and also be a great wife. My marriage is more important than any of our businesses. I will choose being his partner in marriage over being his partner in business any day! At one point in our marriage, we spent more time talking about our businesses than ourselves. It caused strife and conflict because we never turned it off. Something had to change. So we created guidelines to maintaining the balance of business and personal.

Guidelines to creating boundaries:

1. No phones or business during meals. The beauty of our careers is that we are able to share several meals together (well at least during off season). We found ourselves constantly on our phones checking emails and returning calls/texts while we were supposed to be enjoying our time together. We have a hard rule with only one exception. The rule: no phones or business during our meals. The exception: we can only answer if our parents call more than once which signals it's an emergency. We communicated with our families and friends about our rule so they understand that if we are spending time together we can't talk on the phone or text them back. We also communicated with our employees and business partners. It took a few reminders but now everyone knows that if we don't answer it's for a good reason.

2. No business talk in the bed. This was a huge problem for us. We would spend at least an hour discussing business before we went to sleep. The problem with this was we would think about unresolved problems that we were discussing before we got too tired and feel asleep, and it was negatively affecting our sleep pattern. Also we would wake up with business on our mind instead of each other. So once we are in bed, there's absolutely no talk about business.

3. No business after 10pm. This time is set for 2 reasons: (1) our store closes at 9pm and if an emergency happens we need to be aware of it first; and (2) we have meetings all day before 5pm and I often have to work late drafting. I'm sure this time will change once we have children but for now it works for us. The point is to set a time and stick with it. It gets the job done by creating a boundary. If you have a problem with remembering things overnight like I do, I suggest writing it down or putting a reminder in your phone.

4. Notify one another of business mode versus spouse mode. My personality is completely different when I'm discussing business versus being a wife. My husband is the same way. We have very dominant personalities and we had to learn to switch that off when we went into spouse mode. Frustrations from business was spilling over into our personal conversations, and this was an absolute no go. We found that notifying one another when we were moving into a more personal conversation kept us from creating pseudo arguments.

5. Carve out mandatory time with each other. We make it a point to carve out time with one another that is not about business. At one point when I was spending an enormous amount of time at our store, my husband said that he considered the time he stopped by the store to see me as quality time. I swiftly advised him that it was not. At the store I'm in work mode and I couldn't just shut it off. We had to schedule time with each other until it became more fluid. Things we do to spend time together: we pray together everyday; we go on a date or have a staycation at least once a week; we spend at least 30 minutes a day talking; and we schedule travel for work life breaks. We work to live not live to work. Our philosophy: we work too hard not to enjoy the fruits of our labor!

Don't get me wrong maintaining our business and family balance is a constant work in progress. One of the hardest things I ever did was become my husband's business partner. It's difficult to learn to distinguish the two but with hard work and dedication we have been doing well thus far. The biggest lesson we learned working together is: we have a right to question each other's decisions and not take it personal. Remember, family first business second!

Forever Fierce Fabulous & Flawless

Tenisha

Great Idea but what do I do next? We have all had that Aha! moment but we quickly realize that we have no idea how to make it a reality. Where do we start? How much time and money will it take to make it happen? Is this even a good idea? All of these questions come to mind and push you towards not even trying. Friends, family and even random strangers have vented to me about how they had an awesome idea but lacked the time and the resources to bring it into fruition. Whether it's fear of failure or just lack of knowledge, there was always a reason for "letting it go." Don't get me wrong creating a product or service is difficult but completely doable!

Here's a quick guide on how to bring your idea from fantasy into reality.

1. Articulate Your Idea. This sounds ridiculous I know but you will be surprised how often people have a concept in their head but can't communicate it to someone else. Don't just talk about it. Take the time to write it down. If it doesn't make sense on paper, delete it and start over. Keep trying until you can successfully communicate the complete concept without thinking about it.

2. Limit the Number of People You Tell. There are two reasons that I give this advice. First, contrary to popular belief, the idea itself is not protectable. If you tell your idea to everyone, you are risking someone beating you to the punch. Certainly you don't want the next Uber or Facebook to slip through your fingertips over the slip of the tongue. Secondly, you risk hearing discouraging opinions from those around you. One thing I learned was that everyone can't see the vision. They fail to see the bigger picture because they are so busy dwelling on the challenges that you may face. Discuss your idea with likeminded individuals. Those who critique rather than criticize, and encourage rather than present an attitude of failure. If you know someone is a Negative Nancy, save yourself the time and the energy trying to convince them to believe in you.  

3. Research, research, and research some more! No one should know more about your idea or business than you do. Research what you will need in order to develop the idea, and don't rely on others just to tell you throughout the process. When you think you have done enough research, research some more. It sounds like busy work but it's not. One of the biggest mistakes that I made with my first business was trusting the judgment of others, especially when it came to spending my money, instead of doing the research myself. There's nothing wrong with asking for advise but you can't completely rely on it. Use advise from others as an introduction, and not a conclusion. Also, I encourage you to take the time to figure out if there is a similar or the same product or service already in your market. If there is, modify your product or service to distinguish it so you can create a niche. In the long run it will save you valuable time and money.

4. Create a Timeline. One of the biggest reasons that people fail to develop their idea is because they fail to hold themselves accountable. Create a deadline and then develop a timeline based on that date. You can seek assistance in completing this task from someone that is detail oriented and great at planning schedules. It will take some time but it's worth it. If you miss a deadline, don't fret, make the adjustment and keep moving.

5. Develop a Business Plan. Whether you plan on growing your business or selling the license to a product, a business plan is a critical step in the process especially if you are seeking investors. A business plan forces you to set goals for the product or service. From market research to financial projections, the business plan is a overview of where you are starting and where you want to go. You don't have to have a degree in business to get this done. You can find some great resources online at sba.gov that will assist you. You can also find individuals and companies that will draft one for you.

6. Create a Team.  Creating a team is an essential step in the process. At some point in the development you will need someone to help you. Create a team of people that you trust in business (please note I said business not just in life), that add value to your business or product, and that are willing to grow with you. Everyone  has to be working towards the same goal otherwise it simply won't work. Even Oprah and Bill Gates have a team that helped them build their empires.

7. Tackle Each Step on Your Timeline. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, tackle each step one at a time. Once you have accomplished a goal, check it off, and move on to the next step. When you break it down, it becomes more conceivable and less daunting.  

8. Don't Give Up! Throughout the process you may get discouraged, but don't give up. Yes there will be challenges, yes there will be set backs but if you keep pushing through it will be worth the reward. When you feel like quitting, look back on all of the work you have done thus far. You don't want that to go to waste.

9. Keep Improving. With any great idea there will be imitators so make sure you are always improving your product or service. Look for ways to make your product or service better in order to stay relevant.

10. When in Doubt, Ask for Help! I must admit you are not going to know everything and even researching won't provide all of the answers. Seek the guidance of a mentor or someone that is successful in the field of interest.

I hope this guide pushes you to take the leap of faith and act on the idea that you have been thinking about for months or even years. Remember "it is better to try and fail than never to try at all." - William F. O'Brien

Forever Fierce, Fabulous & Flawless

Tenisha